1. I wish I talked about LOVE. 

This has been on my mind more recently but showing love to our children ESPECIALLY during their crazy antics or meltdowns. How can I love them more? How can I show them love during their tantrum? Do they need a hug or do they need me to sit and wait while they are letting out their big emotions? Do they need comfort? Do they need to be in a place away from everyone else? See them with love. I’ve constantly been reminding myself recently during my kids shouting and big emotions, “I love them, how can I show them love? What’s really making them act this way?” And I move forward from there.

2. Don’t sweat the little things. 

As long as my child is safe and not hurting themselves or others, I don’t worry about it. I’m serious. My kids are running around the poles at the airport gate, I let them. My kids are racing each other in the aisle of Walmart, so be it. They are being kids. You may have a judgey person tell you to “control them better”, but most often I have only been praised by “how energetic” and “Fun” and “You’re going to miss these days”. Seriously. Don’t sweat it when kids are being kids. 

3. Don’t do things with your children if it makes your skin crawl with anger.

If you HATE that your children throw straws at each while in a restaurant, save yourself the hassle and don’t eat out, or better yet get take-out! Then they can throw straws in the comfort of your own home. Hire a babysitter and go out just you and your significant other if you love fancy restaurants!

If you hate taking kids to the grocery store because you get mad as they race and hide from you, then schedule it for a time that they are being watched (by a significant other or daycare). Or better yet, do grocery pick-up then you and your rambunctious children don’t even need to leave the car!

4. Apologize to your children. 

When you blow up on your kids or make a mistake in disciplining them, apologize to them. Let them know you were in the wrong (actually say the words, "I was wrong") and ask for their forgiveness. Then try to do and be better next time.

5. Tag Team.

If you are married or have a significant other then this is a life-saver! When either myself or my husband has reached our breaking point after taking care of 1 child, or 2 or 4. We go to the other parent and say, “I’m reaching my breaking point, I can’t anymore.” At which point the other parent takes over, usually with a cheerful disposition, and our kids are none the wiser. The constant, “Mom, mom, mom!” then becomes, “Dad, dad, dad!” The other parent takes over and the breaking point parent cools off alone, and comes back feeling more in control of their own emotions and ready to help again.

6. It’s something I’m constantly working on...

...and has taken YEARS (8 and 1/2 years, to be exact), of rethinking discipline, stopping myself BEFORE I immediately react (with anger), and reading quality parenting books, because guess what??? Being a parent did NOT come naturally to me! I never liked kids until I had my own children, but even then I didn’t know how to help them through meltdowns, anger, sadness, rage, excitement, or when they CONSTANTLY ask me the same thing over and over and over (and forever).

7. Lastly, you are doing better than you think. 

The fact that you WANT to be a better parent, be able to help your kids through their emotions (while controlling your own emotions), means you are already doing better than you think you are!